To Choose a Name

New Story for the third OldTown Novel: OldTown WeKare Inc

To Choose a Name, a new OldTown short story, describes a new mother’s challenge to find the right name for her baby. Motherhood is never easy, but caring friends make difficult duties more than possible; they make them meaningful.

Her thick red hair falling like a curtain over her shoulders, Debbie-Dee peered down at the infant in her arms and knew she was no longer dead.

The pink and blue maternity room with beautiful seaside pictures rested in somnolent stillness. The other mother, an older woman with two kids at home, had been discharged early, and the nurse said there was no one scheduled to come in until the next day.

Debbie-Dee had one whole day to devote to herself and her baby in a quiet, safe place. No one knew she was here, except her sponsor, and she wouldn’t tell anyone. I can relax now. The hard part is done.

Feeling like a kid on vacation, Debbie-Dee stretched out on the bed, winced at a sharp, raw feeling, and exhaled a long breath. The nurse, Jianna, had rolled in a sturdy baby bassinet with clear plastic sides and a striped blanket folded inside. With a coaxing tone, she directed Debbie-Dee to buzz the nurse’s station if she wanted to rest. They’d be happy to watch the baby for a while. “Babies are why we got into this business.” Debbie-Dee had smiled complacently, but she had no intention of letting go of her tiny daughter. Not now. Maybe not ever.

Just think about today. Tomorrow will take care of itself. Her sponsor’s comforting voice played in her head. Ms. Effie spoke in proverbs more often than not, her deep voice proclaiming an age-old truth, while her eyes caressed the soul with abiding love.

Debbie glanced at the half-open door and wondered if Ms. Effie would come today. Her sponsor had driven her to the hospital when labor started yesterday morning and stayed all through delivery, chatting about her own babies, how delivering babies hurt like hell but brought heavenly rewards.

There had been a slight intake of breath on the word “heavenly.” Debbie-Dee knew that Ms. Effie’s youngest, Jerome, had taken a mix of over-the-counter meds for a back problem and died after a bad reaction several years ago. It was never clear what exactly had happened, even Ms. Effie didn’t seem sure. But dead was dead, and her son had been too young to die. Debbie-Dee shook her head at the memory. Aren’t we all? At their first meeting, Ms. Effie had explained that this was why she sponsored young women in need of help. She wanted to do something right in a world full of wrong.

At the time, Debbie Dee was just getting out of a bad relationship, dealing with haunting memories of her best friend’s death, and suffering from guilt she couldn’t name. She hadn’t honestly cared about Ms. Effie’s past. She was just glad the woman picked her up with her two bags and took her to a shelter, visited regularly, and helped her find a decent job in a new town. The fact that Debbie-Dee had jumped right into another bad relationship and gotten pregnant hadn’t seemed to shock Ms. Effie. But when Debbie-Dee decided to keep the baby, Ms. Effie broke down in tears. At the time, she wasn’t sure if her sponsor was crying with relief or grief. The woman’s tear-filled eyes rose in Debbie-Dee’s mind. Maybe both.

Debbie-Dee’s arm began to ache. She realized that she’d been so afraid of waking the infant, she hadn’t moved a muscle. Ever so carefully, she adjusted her position and tried to shift the baby to the other arm.

Awaking suddenly, the baby scrunched its tiny face, eyes squeezed tight, and screamed like a siren, getting louder with each fresh blast.

Wearing fresh blue nursing scrubs, Jianna stepped in, a knowing grin brightening her face. “She’s hungry! You ready to feed her? You said you wanted to breastfeed, so we can start practicing now if you’d like.”

Practice? Isn’t breastfeeding automatic, like breathing? Baffled, Debbie-Dee allowed Jianna to help her release one breast from the confines of the hospital gown and adjust the baby into position. It took several tries before the desperate infant latched on properly, but once she did, Debbie-Dee nearly screeched in shock. It felt like someone had attached a vice grip to her breast and was squeezing tight. Trembling from a sudden chill and confusion, she glared at the nurse. “Is it supposed to hurt?”

Compassion in her eyes, Jianna offered a wry smile. “It takes time for the skin to toughen up. It’ll hurt worse for a bit, and then slowly, it’ll get better. Eventually, it won’t hurt at all. Nursing is actually good for you as well as the baby; it helps to release oxytocin, which promotes calm, reduces stress, and lowers the risk of postpartum depression, and it even helps the uterus contract to its proper size and reduce bleeding.” She flashed a bright smile. “You’ll get back to your ideal weight quicker, too.” A quick appraisal, and her smile dimmed. “Though, by the look of it, you could use a few more pounds, not less.”

Calmer now, the baby settled into a rhythm, her tiny hands clasping the full breast. Exhaling a deep breath, Debbie-Dee leaned back on the pillows and relaxed her shoulders.

Jianna laughed. “You two are a pair!” She furrowed her brow. “You come up with a name yet? This pretty little thing needs to announce her arrival in the world on a birth certificate.”

Debbie-Dee nodded. She knew, she just didn’t know what to say. It was a momentous decision. Naming another person felt like she was pretending to be God or something. It was hard enough to believe she had carried a baby in her body and given birth, but naming the child seemed impossible. What about if her daughter hated it when she grew up?

Jianna offered a soft arm pat and then stepped toward the door. “You’re doing fine. Since you didn’t get much sleep last night, I suggest you nap when you can. Let me know when she’s done with her meal, and I’ll take her for a bit, and you can sleep. We want you in good shape when you leave tomorrow.”

Leave tomorrow. Haunting words. Debbie-Dee’s whole life for the last few months had been directed to this moment, to giving birth and holding her baby in her arms. What was next? She hadn’t a clue.

A soft knock on the door, and Ms. Effie poked her head around the door. “Is this a good time?”

Jianna laughed again. “Well, if you can handle breastfeeding, then you’ll be safe enough. But—” she glanced over her shoulder at Debbie-Dee, “remember what I said about getting in a nap. You need rest to heal.”

Ms. Effie passed the nurse with an affirming nod. “I couldn’t agree more. I just wanted to stop by a moment and check with you about a little something.”

Quietly, Jianna stepped out of the room.

A warm gladness settled over Debbie-Dee as she watched her sponsor pull a chair close to the bed. “I’m so glad you came. I need your help.”

As if a planned speech had been interrupted, Ms. Effie pulled back. “Already? I thought you’d be set for one day at least.” She flashed a grin, signaling a half-jest.

A hot flush working over her, Debbie-Dee pushed through her embarrassment. “I know, I need you for everything, but this is serious. I have to name her, and I don’t have a clue. I’ve looked through tons of lists, but I can’t pick anything. It all seems so permanent. I just can’t decide.”

The baby squealed in protest as Debbie-Dee adjusted herself again, anxiety building like a volcano ready to explode.

Ms. Effie clasped her hands on her lap and straightened. “Well, now, I’ve got two problems to settle.” Her gaze roamed to the window where spring green maple leaves fluttered in a soft breeze. After a moment of stillness, she clapped her hand, ready for an announcement. “I brought a friend to see you, and though he is young, I believe he is wise in spirit. Kind of like you, in a way. You both got started off on the wrong foot in life, but you’ve got enough sense to find a new path. Maybe he can help.”

Running her fingers through her disheveled hair, Debbie-Dee protested, “But I’m not fit to see anyone, especially not a man!” Her voice rose accusingly. “I can’t believe you’d bring someone when I’m still recovering!”

Her chin up, Ms. Effie took the high road. “I will assume that with your recent ordeals, you’re not thinking straight, and your words are like old leaves blown in the wind. Listen to me, young miss, Kai Curran is a married man now, and he’s doing a fine job raising that nephew of his, the one you checked on last year. I heard all about him from the town busybody, Ada somebody or other. Even the waiter praised the man to the sky.” Her gaze softened. “I know you automatically think of every man as a potential…” Her gaze rose to the ceiling. “Lord, help us. I did the same when I was young. But I need you to think clearly now. You’ve got a little girl to care for, no job, and nowhere to live. I believe that Mr. Curran has a good heart and some experience in the matter of redirecting his weary feet in the right direction. He might be able to help you. He knows practically everyone in OldTown.”

The mention of OldTown sent a happy shiver over Debbie-Dee. She had been impressed during the few times she had traveled through. A pang of disappointment ran over her momentary joy as the words “married man” snickered at her. She’d known married men before. Married didn’t always mean committed. A tiny shake of the head. No, she wasn’t that woman anymore.

She studied her sponsor’s face. “So why are you telling me this now?”

“He’s here. I brought him along. As I was coming this morning, an inspiration hit me; it directed me to the Let’s Eat Café in OldTown.” A quirked grin. “You know how I am. I had to follow my inspiration and see where it led. Maybe nothing, but maybe something…”

The baby was sleeping blissfully, one fist clenched against her mouth, her whole body conformed to the crook of her arm. Debbie-Dee tried to be patient, but she couldn’t help lifting her eyebrows in a command to explain further.

“Well, guess who came over to my table two minutes after I sat down? Mr. Curran has a remarkable memory. He spotted me right off and immediately asked about you.” She lifted her hands in protest. “I didn’t tell him much, but I did share that you were a new mother and trying to find your way.” Her gaze roamed to the window again. “I could see that he understood without me explaining. When the server came by with my breakfast, Kai just wished me a good day, and I thought that was the end of it. I tried to enjoy my bacon and eggs, but I must admit, I was a trifle disappointed. I even asked God why he dragged me so far off the highway when suddenly Kai reappeared at my table with his jacket on.” Ms. Effie offered a humble shrug. “I tried to act calm, but I must admit, my heart was beating to beat the band. He asked if he could come along and visit with you.” A hand slapped against her chest, and Ms. Effie could’ve just seen an apparition of St. Michel the Archangel.

Debbie-Dee could feel her eyes widening as they fixed on the doorway. Her voice squeaked. “He’s here? Now?”

“Yes, honey. Can I let him come in and say hello?”

Debbie-Dee froze like a deer in the glare of headlights.

Ms. Effie snuck out and called Kai’s name.

Frantically, Debbie-Dee readjusted the baby and covered her chest as modestly as possible.

His head ducked, a guy who is trying not to intrude, one hand behind his back, Kai made his way into the room.

Debbie-Dee’s heart melted as she studied Kai’s bashful smile. She wished he weren’t married with all her heart.

As he stopped at the bedside, Kai pulled his arm from around and flew a stuffed red bird through the air until it landed next to the sleeping baby. His voice cracked just a bit as he sat down in the chair Ms. Effie had vacated. Ms. Effie pulled up another chair and made herself comfortable, her eyes beaming golden rays of happiness.

Kia pointed to the redbird. “Sorry, they didn’t have any pink birds, but I always think that redbirds are a sign of good luck, so I figured it would be a good first stuffed animal. Tam has about a thousand in his room. I can barely vacuum, terrified I might suck someone up, and he’ll tear the place apart looking for his lost friend.”

An undignified snort, but Debbie-Dee could imagine the scene so vividly, she wanted to burst out laughing, only the fear of waking the baby kept her steady. “Well, thank you. I appreciate your coming all this way.” An embarrassed shrug. “I’m not much to see at the moment.”

A strange look passed over Kai’s face, then fled, and was replaced with a determined smile. “You came all the way to OldTown to check on Tam. It’s the least I can do to see how you and your little one are doing.” He lifted his hand and held it aloft. “May I?”

A nod and Debbie-Dee’s heart did somersaults as Kai passed gentle fingers over her baby’s head.

Kai’s expression turned inwards, his voice dropping low. “My wife and I are hoping for kids. No luck yet.”

Landing back on earth, Debbie-Dee glanced up abashedly at Ms. Effie, hoping she couldn’t read her mind.

Ms. Effie redirected the conversation. “We need a name for the little one. Any ideas?”

A deep sigh, and Kai leaned back in the chair, his gaze rolling up to the ceiling. “Well, that’s a tough one. I should have brought Tam. He can think of a million good names in the blink of an eye.” His hands clasped in prayer style, tapping his chin, Kai seemed to be rolling through a catalogue of familiar monikers. Then he stopped and stared earnestly at Debbie-Dee. “Who is the best person you ever knew in your life?”

Debbie-Dee’s gaze shot to Miss Effie.

Raising her hands in protest, Ms. Effie refused the honor. “No, not me! I’m not worthy. Surely, you know a better person, someone you always looked up to, maybe?”

Debbie-Dee could feel tears filling her eyes. “I have tried over and over again to think of someone, but the truth is, there’s no one I want her to be like. Even my mom was a troubled woman. I wouldn’t wish her name on my worst enemy.”

Kai leaned forward. “How about a book? Did you ever read anything that gave you hope?”

An old memory flashed before Debbie-Dee’s eyes—a children’s book with rabbits wearing adorable little clothes. A smile wiggled up from somewhere deep inside. “I loved those stories by that lady who had little animals as the main characters. They wore clothes and had luncheons and did all the human things, but they were rabbits, squirrels, pigs, birds, all sorts of animals, and their world was so beautiful.”

Kia nodded as a grin blossomed on his face. “Beatrix Potter. Yeah, Tam loves her books. He really likes The Tale of Mr. Tod.”

“Beatrix is a lovely name.” Ms. Effie’s eyes shone, tears glimmering. “I think that might be perfect for our little girl here.”

Excitement building, Debbie-Dee straightened, making the baby squirm, her eyelids fluttering.

Kai and Ms. Effie watched the baby, transfixed.

Debbie waved her hand to pull them back to the matter at hand. “What was Beatrix’s middle name?”

His brow furrowing, Kai pulled out his phone and started to tap the search bar. “I’m pretty sure that Beatrix was her middle name.” He read through an info page and glanced up. “Her married name was Helen Beatrix Heelis, but she was known as Beatrix Potter.”

A gasp slipped from Ms. Ellie.

Both Kai and Debbie-Dee fastened their eyes on her.

“Well, it just happens that my middle name is Helen.”

Kai’s grin could have outshone the sun. “I think Beatrix Helen would be a beautiful name.”

Ms. Effie offered a humble shrug of acceptance. “If you want it, you can have it.” Her brow furrowed as she considered the baby. “And the last name?”

A new sense of bravery entered Debbie-Dee. “My parents weren’t perfect, but now, well, I think we can handle our last name together.” She lifted one hand as if scrolling the words in the air. “Beatrix Helen Blackburn.”

Ms. Effie sighed, clearly pleased.

Kia’s grin affirmed his approval.

Jianna stepped into the room and stepped to the side, a silent signal that visiting time needed to come to a close.

Ms. Effie and Kai took the cue and rose to their feet.

Kai leaned down and pressed Debbie-Dee’s arm. “Evelyn and I would love to have you and little Beatrix over to our place sometime. I’ll text my number to Ms. Effie, and she can pass it along to you when you’re ready. Let us know, alright?”

Her vision blurring, Debbie-Dee smiled through tears. When Ms. Effie leaned in for a gentle hug, a sob escaped as she fumbled through a thank you.

Ms. Effie understood. She kissed the tiny forehead and then followed Kai to the door.

Debbie-Dee watched them leave, then allowed Jianna to place Beatrix into the bassinet. She stretched out, ready for a revitalizing nap. For the first time in forever, she was glad to be alive.