Real World Disconnect = Despair

autumn11Some people would say that we are more connected to the world than ever, but I wonder if this is really true. I heard a statistic this week that suicide is the third leading cause of death for teens. That tragic information made me pause.  Why would teens, in a world full of options, choose to end their lives?

What are kids connected to? Or disconnected from? They are connected to the vast information web, they are connected to sound bytes, superficial relationships built on Facebook and Twitter, they are connected to pictures, images, and sounds, but too often, they’re disconnected to what is happening right in front of them.

What actually feeds us – spiritually and physically?  “You shall be known by your fruit….” I do not get fed by social media interactions. Even e-mail has its limitations. It’s not to say that these technological innovations don’t have their purpose and value. But it is to ask: “What are we crowding out when we engage in them to the exclusion of other forms of human communication and interaction?”

When I took my kids to the lake yesterday and they ran around watching the geese and ducks, sat and enjoyed the sun setting over the water, and played tag down a wooded path, they engaged in a real-world reality check. They absorbed a truth which cannot be improved upon. Joy and health seeped into their beings.

When I go outside and work in the garden, when I take a walk down a country road, when I sit and chat face-to-face with someone, even a stranger, I engage in a real-world reality that cannot be replaced by any technological gadget.

I wonder if that is why some television programs have become so weird. They are reflecting that absence, that disconnect, that xeroxed print, which has been copied too often and become anemic and a little warped in the process.

Perhaps what our teens need is a little more time with natural reality, not “reality” shows. Perhaps what some writers need is to reflect human beings and our real world, and not slapstick, word-bytes meant to get a laugh or jerk a tear.

Perhaps, reality isn’t meant to lead to suicide.


Mortality Among Teenagers Aged 12-19 Years: United States, 1999-2006. (2010). Retrieved February 20, 2016, from


Nature Never Forgives

rainbow 3The quote attributed to Pope Frances saying, “God always forgives, man sometimes forgives, but nature never forgives…”  seems very apropos today. The whole concept of forgiveness is a rather celestial one. From debt forgiveness to nature’s revenge, what can we take away from this assessment?  How do we direct our lives toward forgiveness and being forgiven in a world born of both natural and super-natural truth?

For me, nature has been a rather simple affair. Like the Holy Father, I have found the natural world to be awesome…though not without some terrible characteristics. This year’s bountiful garden may produce wonderful fruits and vegetables, but weeds grow fast, spread their seeds wide, and poison ivy never gets friendly.

poison ivy For the past several summers, I have made the same mistake.  At some point in late summer, I forget the tortures of past experience, and I step into a poison ivy patch or cut down what I consider some harmless vegetation, and I end up with miserable itching for weeks. Is there a statue of limitations on my experiences? Yet, as the memory of my suffering decreases, so my reckless boldness increases.

When I look back on history, I see the same trend.  I read about debt crises of the past and I wonder that humanity could fall into the same terrible pattern again and again. Though the momentary crises with Greece may be passed, the problem of world debt is not.  Like poison ivy, it is born of the same truth, a reflection of indisputable reality. And reality will take care of itself.  Looking at the looming social security crises, I can almost feel the creeping itch of poison seeping into our system.  Debts will have to be paid, sometime, by someone.

Yet, Greece’s debt was partially forgiven.  As Pope Frances reminds us—men can forgive. We have the power to do so, but we cannot totally eradicate reality.  That is the province of God.  Only God can forgive our debts so that they are totally wiped clean.

It seems a generous thing to forgive as God forgives.  In fact, we are commanded to do so by God Himself. Yet, I do not believe God intends us to forget reality altogether. There is a reason He made nature as predictable as it is. There is a reason why He made us a combination of natural and supernatural reality.  We are not yet fully alive to the supernatural world.  We have limits.  If you doubt this—time and death have their shared wisdom to impart.

Though nature can be awesome and beautiful, it is also a powerful teacher. It is a part of a complete reality which reminds us of something we might like to forget: we are not God.

As we steward our planet, spend our money, and choose our leaders, it might be wise to keep nature’s limits and poison ivy’s wrath in mind.

The Adventures of Tally-Ho

Tally Ho spread 1_sm

The Adventures of Tally-Ho written by A.K. Frailey, author of The Road Goes Ever On – A Christian Journey Through The Lord of the Rings, The Deliverance Trilogy and Georgios I & Geogios II, and Illustrated by Chris deShazo owner of Spectrum Graphics Studio, is due out this autumn.  The cover reveal is coming soon…

What little girls love: faith, family, fun, little critters, and adventure!

Wholesome family-farm adventures, big brothers, helpful sisters, kittens and a lively possum…A great read aloud for the whole family. Gorgeous illustrations!

Grandma & Grandpas will love this holiday gift – a book to enjoy the whole year through!

Mom’s and Dads looking for something to share with their little ones?  Here’s a wholesome family story including home-school adventures, delicious home-cooked meals, humorous treks through the woods, and family prayer time  – all reflecting a sincere love of nature… A great read-aloud!

Attention: Big brothers and sisters! A wonderful way to spend an afternoon with the family.

Celebrate the extraordinary-ordinary of faith-filled family fun!

Raising kids – God’s way – with nature’s wisdom. Stewardship & love for life: The Adventures of Tally-Ho.

The Adventures of Tally-Ho really began when my 4th daughter ran into the kitchen yelling “Tally-Ho!”  She was having a wonderful adventure on an imaginary horse, and my husband and I just smiled at each other in a reflection of her joy. As we discussed the kids’ wonderful imaginations growing up on our mini-farm in rural Illinois, we considered how different their lives have been from our own. We had both been raised in cities, far from the natural wonders our children encounter on a daily basis. As my daughter came through again, encouraging her horse onto more  adventures, it occurred to us that we could share a bit of what our kids experience through a story with illustrations to match. I was the writer of the family, so I set to work on a basic story line while my husband began to work on sketches.

But as sometimes happens even with the best of dreams, our plans were thwarted when my husband was diagnosed with Leukemia.  We endured a four year battle with cancer before he died.  For some time, I could not pick up the threads of our Tally-Ho project, but then I encountered a wonderful artist, Chris deSharzo of Spectrum Graphics Studios, who could grace the story with the same zest for life that John had known. I prayed about it and after sensing a rightness about moving on, I returned to the project.  And so, The Adventures of Tally-Ho has a second chance.

The grace of my husband’s life reflected a sincere love for all of humanity, especially in children and nature.  May that same love be offered to you through The Adventures of Tally-Ho.

Simple Summer

flowers in AugustI’m sitting outside on the back porch, while Merry, the cat—a poor injured stray we saved—is sitting at my feet doing what cats do…resting and checking out the world whenever the mood hits. The pine trees sway in a gentle breeze while white, fluffy clouds sail serenely overhead.  We’ve had a lot of rain lately, so everything is green and gorgeous. A red rose in a nearby pot practically glows against the backdrop of pine trees. Various summer flowers bloom in their summertime brilliance. Flies and bees and a little jumping spider have also made an appearance. The chicks, still in the brooder house waiting for their outdoor pen are running about, trying their wings as they learn that the ground cannot hold them bound.

The awesome beauty of this summer day, the chirping multitude: sparrows, red-wing blackbirds, robins, cardinals, and cooing doves, the laughter of young children at play, the haunting melody played by one of the girls at the piano, rustling waves of breezes cascading over the fields of corn and beans all work together, creating a pallet of beauty that any artist would envy.

When I considered what to write on my blog today, no words would come.  Yet as I sit here surrounded by simple summer, I find I do not need words—just eyes and ears and a heart willing to believe that this is real.

When the winter winds blow, the sky laden with grey clouds and the birds silenced in their nests, I will remember this day. The yellow buttercups, the red rose, the buzzing bees will live in my heart and imagination. Even in my dreams, I will remember this day, and no matter the clouds or the cold and the barren waste of winter, summer will yet live.

Gardening Grace

IMG_0229 (2)blagobear needs helpGardens are like family: they demand attention; they can get out of hand real quick, yet they feed you in ways nothing else can.  For all of my aches & pains, my dislike of getting muddy, and my squeamish attitude about bugs that live in colonies, I am willing, year after year, to start the garden over again.  This year is no exception. Considering the work involved and the many family needs demanding my attention, I had to think long and hard about this particular vocation before I even got started.  Is gardening really worth my time and effort?  After all, I could buy almost everything I want at the grocery store.  But in the end, I was converted toward the wholesome reality of a family garden by a few simple but profound truths.

#1 A garden draws me into the natural world far from technology.  With all of society’s advancements—it is good to get away from the computer screen & worldly concerns and reacquaint myself with the good earth. Plants and animals have been here a lot longer than our human-made tools & toys, and they still have something to say to me—if I dare to listen.

#2 Gardens demand a lot and give a lot.  They require consistent effort.  They force a person into a serious commitment of time, sweat, and occasional tears.  If I don’t take care, weeds take over.  If I don’t protect it, the garden will die. This simple reality reminds me of a basic truth in every important relationship: no love, no stewardship, no fruit.

#3 I know what goes into my garden, so I know what goes into me. This may seem paranoid but in a world of pesticides, herbicides, antibiotics for animals, and various other unknowns, I like to know what feeds the animals and plants which feed me. Cancer has struck too close to home to assume that every chemical remedy is a good one.

#4 There is some correlation to God as Creator and myself as a gardener.  When I plant a seed, I know it is His seed, I know He forms and shapes the life that comes from the seed, and I know that all the growing universe is His – but in my small world, I can cultivate a small part of it, making it orderly, beautiful and fruitful. When faced with international disasters, national worries, and personal struggles, it is no small comfort to enjoy God’s life in a garden – gardening grace – I call it.  And so it is.

#5 My final reason is purely mercenary.  I enjoy knowing that I have stocked some food away for a rainy, stormy, or snowy day.  I never know what the future will bring. Having a few jars of homemade jam, pickles, or salsa, some onions & herbs hanging in the kitchen, some frozen peppers, corn, squash, and pumpkin stocked in the freezer, makes my life a little more comfortable. Despite my aching back, my heart is at ease knowing my garden is there, waiting for me in the morning.


IMG_0273 (2)Blagobear in the flowersAs I was coming inside from my evening ritual of being black mailed by one of our cats – she promises not to howl all night if I give her a little something before bedtime – I came across the strangest looking bug I have yet seen this season. It looked like a cross between a spider and a bee.  It flew and buzzed like a bee, but it had the oddest markings, which stopped me in my tracks. Of course, once it caught on to my interest in it’s colorful anatomy, it took exception and buzzed a little closer sending me back several steps. Then it flew off, unrecorded by me, or any budding scientist near or far. Ah, another loss to science.

But as I made it back safely inside, I could practically feel the wheels in my brain begin to turn as my imagination turned on. That little bug could make the beginning of a very interesting story.  And it was not until I realized that I had been standing in the middle of the room, staring into space for several moments, that I came back to reality. It was a nice break – while it lasted. Why on earth would a home schooling mother of eight, who recently read the headlines, want a break from reality?

When I took my little ones for their evening walk and they chatted on about the various worlds they live in, I was reminded how much time children spend imagining things.  And once again, I realized how wonderful that is. G. K. Chesterton once said something to the effect that fairy tales are real. They tell a truth that reality can’t always illuminate.  In today’s world we are being faced with some awful truths.  And frankly it can be a serious challenge to figure out our place in it all.  But stories and make believe sometimes allow us the distance to think clearly.  Like how Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings battle between good and evil inspire the little guy, the average person, to believe in himself and trust that good exists and is worth fighting for.

So when my 7 year old son is out winning great victories against invisible foes and my daughters are imagining lands with creatures I’ve never heard of, I smile that their wonderful imaginations. Imagining things may not be all bad.  After all – God imagined us.

Ancestor Arts

Apple harvest 2015Ancestor Arts are invaluable. Another way of saying it, “canning”, might not sound so impressive though the reality behind the thought still is.  I grew up in the city, so when I got my first real view of a farm in mid-summer, I was absolutely amazed at the vastness of life growing all around me.  I had honestly thought that the world was blanketed by cities and that farms were just squeezed in between.  Suddenly I had a new perspective.  It takes enormous farms to keep the cities alive.

So when my husband and I were graced with an opportunity to buy a place in the country, we jumped at it and we dove right into the exciting world of country living.  But that meant we had to learn a thing or two.  Ancestor Arts is what my friend and homeschooling “guidance counselor” calls it.  She grew up on a farm and knows all about growing, harvesting, canning & preserving the fruits of the earth.  Of course, I had the uncanny ability to ask her for help to jam up fruit or pickle cucumbers on the hottest days of summer – but she was always willing to share her expertise.  And amazingly enough, I learned to follow her example.

For years now, we have been canning jams, pickling pickles, jarring up salsa, freezing bags of corn, raising and processing chickens, drying and hanging our herbs & onions and doing a number of other “Ancestor Arts” type stuff.  We’ve mad a few misadventures through the years – frozen green beans are a particularly unpleasant memory – but most of what we have done has worked out astonishingly well.

Last month my second daughter canned up the cherries almost completely by herself and today I had three other daughters helping me process the pickles.  It is a charming way to spend a morning.  Not so charming in the heat of a blistering summer day – but even then – it is such a good feeling to discover what nature has accomplished, and to cooperate with your bounty, so that some wonderful food will be waiting for you when the winter winds blow.

There are a lot of good ways to spend time with your kids, but few are quite as rewarding as working to preserve the fruits of your garden for the winter.  It just feels so right.  And the kids are proud of their new skills. Plus – on a cold snowy day when you pull out that jar of cherry jam and scoop it onto hot biscuits – you can revel in “Remember when…” Ancestor Arts should not be forgotten.